Penises, like all living things, emanate an odor. However, some dicks have a serious case of 1970’s funk. There are several reasons why a perfectly normal penis can quickly morph into a stinky penis in what seems like seconds. Here’s a pro’s list of how to get rid of penis odor.

How to Get Rid of Penis Odor: #1 Observe Pee Etiquette

First, let’s address all men who urinate (that should be pretty much everyone). A shake may not be adequate, guys. After peeing, wipe off the penis, otherwise little droplets of urine make their way to underwear. Then the penis bakes in the heat of the groin and those little droplets of urine become a big-time stink fest.

For gentlemen who sport a non-cut penis, be sure to pull back the foreskin when urinating to prevent from urine getting underneath foreskin causing a not so fragrant odor and irritation.

How to Get Rid of Penis Odor: #2 Trim the Tree

Pubic hair traps all sorts of things like bacteria, oils, urine, and other fluids and emissions. By keeping the hair down there trimmed, there’s less to preserve less-than-stellar odors. It looks nice too.

How to Get Rid of Penis Odor: #3 Have a Sex Talk BEFORE Sex

Sexually Transmitted Infections can definitely lead to a stinky penis, among other much more serious consequences. Have a sex talk with a partner prior to sexual contact. If a partner seems to be symptomatic of a STI and hasn’t disclosed it, stop contact immediately.

How to Get Rid of Penis Odor: #4 Condom and Lube Check!

Be sure to continue the practice of safe sex past the very important convo as recommended in #3. Always use condoms that protect against STI when sexually intimate. Also, be sure to use a water-based lube when lube is called for. Oil-based lube and DIY lube, also known as spit, can introduce bacteria into the penis.

How to Get Rid of Penis Odor: #5 After Sex Protocol

After doing the wild thing, sprint off to the bathroom to give your Jolly Roger a good cleaning. This helps remove bacteria and irritants from the penis, as well as any extra…ummm…emissions which may have been left behind.

How to Get Rid of Penis Odor: #6 Loosen Up…Your Drawers that is

For most men, their penis is ensconced in underwear or even just pants the majority of the hours of each day. That means his sausage and beans spend a lot of time marinating in a warm, sweaty, smelly environment. Be sure to invest in good quality cotton underwear or equally good dry-wicking underwear to get the area dry. Also, the tighty-whities don’t really need to be tight, in fact, they shouldn’t be. Give the penis some room to air out and just hang. This not only prevents a stinky penis but protects against peripheral nerve damage as well.

How to Get Rid of Penis Odor: #7 Check for Infection

Some non-STI related infections can cause a man’s nose to curl up. Things like urinary tract infections and yeast infections emit a foul odor and can be quite painful and dangerous. UTIs happen when bacteria have found its way to the urinary tract and often takes on a fishy smell. Yeast infections happen when there is an overgrowth of naturally occurring yeast in the body and is demarked by a moldy smell. See a doctor for diagnosis and treatment if it’s a first time offense.

How to Get Rid of Penis Odor: #8 Have a Daily Hygiene Regimen

We saved the best for last! Clean that member, mister! Cleanse the penis daily (more if needed) with warm water and a mild cleanser. Be sure to retract the foreskin and give the entire area a gentle, yet thorough washing. When done, rinse well. Pat dry with a soft towel (never rub) or air dry.

Next, apply a specially formulated penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which has been clinically proven safe and mild for skin) to the area. Crèmes like this include essential nutrients like vitamin A, which is an antibacterial agent, and vitamin C, which promotes healthy cellular function, collagen building, and freshens the penis. Add to that several other vitamins and amino acids for strengthening skin and boosting blood flow all wrapped up in a silky Shea butter and moisture-preserving vitamin E. No one will ever accuse a man who follows this regimen of having a stinky penis every again!