The occasional itchy penis is one of the drawbacks of being a man. No matter how much willpower one exerts, a man with a compelling itch almost always eventually finds himself with his hands down his pants in order to have a good scratch. Good hygiene and proper penis care can help to decrease the amount of penis itch, of course, but following are a few lighthearted methods of dealing with the old itchy organ problem - along with some real-life, practical solutions.

No. 1: Become a nudist. Well, in the real world, going without clothing is not really practical; but one of the causes of an itchy tool is the heat and moisture that builds up due to the equipment being kept in a confined space. When left to hang free, there's less of a need to itch. Men who have chronic problems with penile itching might choose to let it hang free for a little while every day - in private, of course - to allow the skin to breathe and discourage the development of rashes and fungal infections that can lead to itching and burning in the nether regions.

No. 2: Hang out only with men.

Male-only gatherings are already a massive scratch-fest and burping contest anyway, aren’t they? Or so the ladies may believe. At any rate, a guy who spends all his time only with other men will find that he is in good company when it’s time to make a few adjustments down below.

No. 3: Create a distraction.

Men think being prepared extends no further than carrying a condom in their wallets. But they can be prepared for the sudden crotch itch by coming up with phrases to distract their companions just as the urge to scratch hits. Some possible phrases to use include:

  • "Look over there! Is that George Clooney?"
  • "I think your stockings have a run in them. No, in the back."
  • "Close your eyes for a minute. There's something on your eyelid."
  • "What do you think of those shoes, honey?"
  • "Whoa! Look at the bazongas on her!"

Warning: Men should be prepared to suffer either a slap or a cold shoulder if they use that last approach as a diversion - either from their companion or the owner of the bazongas.

No. 4: Exercise proper penis care. All joking aside, the best way to combat an itchy penis is to practice good hygiene and make sure that the surrounding environment is a friendly one. Proper penis care starts with a daily washing - a gentle cleanser that does not contain drying detergents or alcohol is the best solution. Making sure the tool is completely dry before putting on any clothing can also help to prevent itchy rashes like jock itch or thrush; and the clothing itself should be laundered using a mild detergent that is free of any fragrances or chemical dyes.

Both hot and cold weather can be an additional source of penis itching; the sweaty heat of summer can increase the risk of heat rash, while the cold winter months can lead to dry, cracked, itchy skin. Dressing for the weather and using a good moisturizer, summer and winter, can help to alleviate this problem. A good approach here is to include the use of a superior penis health cream (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil) in the daily penis care regimen. A cream that is enriched with a quality emollient like shea butter, as well as the natural hydrating power of vitamin E will work much better in the long run. Finding a cream with vitamin A will provide the added bonus of fighting the penis odor from which too many men suffer.