Penis Pain: Getting Him to Communicate about It
March 25, 2017The world would be a much easier place in which to live if only men and women tended to communicate in the same way. But, as anyone who has been in a different-sex relationship for even a short period of time knows, that’s just not the case. Men can be very reluctant to be open about something - even things as important as penis pain and what a woman can do to make the penis feel better when it’s actively engaged in sex. While men may often be very conscientious about what they themselves do to ensure better penis care, it’s true that getting them to communicate this with their partners can be a stretch.
A guy thing
So yes, it’s a guy thing. Forget about the fact that men tend to want to talk about different things (and talk about things differently) in the first place. When the conversation turns to the penis itself, and to penis pain or pleasure specifically, lots of guys just clam up. They think it’s somehow unmanly to have to talk about it, unless it’s to brag about size, prowess or incredible staying power. Other than perhaps moaning and "Oh yeah"-ing during an orgasm, most guys are not automatically wired to talk about what their penis needs.
Communicate
So if a guy is reluctant to communicate, what is his partner supposed to do? Here are a few hints.
- Look for clues. A guy may be reluctant to use his words, but his body language can provide ample information. If he pulls his penis away when a particular stroke, touch or grip is applied, it indicates there may be some degree of penis pain involved. The same is true of too much shoulder-scrunching, facial grimacing or leg folding.
- Listen for clues. Ideally, a man will simply say, "That doesn’t really feel good. Could you be a little gentler?" But there may be other audible clues - sharp intakes of breath or a tightness in his voice, for instance.
- Ask questions. Many guys won’t volunteer information but will answer when asked - so broach the subject. "Does that feel alright?" "You look like that hurt a little; should I not touch there?" or "Tell me which of these feels best" are all ways of engaging him and encouraging him to communicate.
- Ask follow-up questions. Sometimes a guy’s answer will spur a partner on to continue with an action - but the guy may discover that the repetition of the action is not what he was looking for, or something may have changed in the way the action is performed. Be prepared to ask, "Does this still feel good?’ or "Would you like something different?"
- Offer choices. Asking something like "Would you rather I tugged or rubbed?" is a very good way to get the guy to communicate with you. After a couple of options, he may feel more receptive to something like "Now you tell me what to do."
- Make him start to communicate. Before beginning, whisper in his ear "I’m ready to make this an incredible night, but I want you to tell me how you like what I’m doing and what to do differently." By giving him permission to communicate, he may be more at ease.
Needless to say, he also needs to understand that communication is not a one way street. Make sure he is as attentive to what works and doesn’t work for you as you are to his needs.
When a guy learns to communicate about what causes penis pain or pleasure, the relationship is strengthened. He also needs to communicate about the importance of using a first class penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil, which is clinically proven mild and safe for skin) so you know he is serious about taking care of his equipment. The preferred crèmes include acetyl L carnitine, an amino acid that protects against peripheral nerve damage and helps maintain a prime level of sensation in the penis. It should also include vitamin B5, which plays a key role in maintaining healthy penile tissue.
Posted by John Dugan. Posted In : Men's Health
