Anxiety and Sexuality in Men: Understanding Sexual Aversion Disorders
August 31, 2018Men are basically just sex-starved beasts, ready to move into high-gear sex mode at the drop of a hat - or so American culture in general (and the pornography industry in particular) would have everyone believe. In fact, there’s a wide variation in the sexual activities, interests, desires and motives of men, which only points up that men may be a group but thy are also individuals. Sure, most men who lead a healthy lifestyle have an appropriate sexual appetite - but that appetite expresses itself differently in different men. And there are some men for whom the sexual appetite is not so healthy - some, in fact, who suffer from a condition casually known as sexual anorexia.
Strange name
The name sexual anorexia was created about 30 years ago, but this condition is also known but another name: sexual aversion disorder. Whichever name is used, it describes a condition in which there is "extreme anxiety and fear and avoidance of sex and intimacy." It’s essentially the opposite of a sex addiction, in which a person has an intense, compulsive and at times uncontrollable need to engage in sex. With sexual anorexia, a person avoids sex at almost any cost.
When a person has sexual anorexia, they may experience an overwhelming degree of self-loathing after engaging in sex. They also may have heightened and at times irrational fears about coming down with a sexually-transmitted infection. In some cases, they may go to extremes, including self-destructive behavior, in order to keep rom having sex. And in some cases, there may be a "seesaw" effect, where a person goes overboard and engages in a sex "binge" and then follows it with a cycle of extreme sex withdrawal.
Although sexual anorexia is more frequently associated with women, it does occur in men as well.
Causes
Why does a man become sexually anorexic? The research is still being done, so much of what follows is theorizing. However, some clinicians and researchers believe that the cause is often linked to an episode or episodes in a man’s childhood or youth. In such episodes, a male experiences a sense of betrayal by a caregiver or other person who plays a primary role in his life. This causes him to be distrustful of intimacy, resulting in a reluctance or inability to be sexually involved with other people - and sometimes with himself alone.
There are other situations which may also lead to sexual anorexia. For example, growing up in a household in which sex is regarded as extremely sinful or perceived in another forcefully negative light. Victims of physical, emotional or sexual abuse are also more likely to be avoidant of sexual engagements. And when a person has body dysmorphia and has resultant negative feelings about their physical self or about specific body parts, this can contribute as well to sexual anorexia.
Ironically, many men with sexual anorexia present as self-confident, sexually alluring men. But their actual interest in sex is significantly abbreviated.
Treatment
Most men with sexual anorexia will need to seek help from a qualified mental health professional in order to treat the issue. This can be a long and involved process which will require the patient to bond with and becoming trusting and accepting of his doctor. Cognitive behavioral therapies and other options can be utilized once an acceptable level of trust has been established.
Though sexual anorexia is not itself a physical disorder, maintain penis health can be beneficial, as it is for all men. Regular use of a quality penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man 1 Man Oil, which is clinically proven mild and safe for skin) is desirable. Seek out one which includes moisturizing agents such as she abutter and vitamin E to maintain healthy penis skin. The crème also should include alpha lipoic acid, an antioxidant which helps fight free radicals and the oxidative stress they can create.
Posted by John Dugan. Posted In : Men's Health
