Some people are reluctant to acknowledge when their time between the sheets becomes a bit underwhelming. A satisfying sex life is an important part of an individual’s wellbeing along with the health of a relationship; lackluster sex can take its toll on both, and therefore deserves acknowledgment and attention from both partners. Writing for Huffington Post, couples mediator Debra Mcleod describes eight common sexual complaints she hears from both men and women. If bedroom playtime has become more bust than bang, consider whether these problems might be to blame in the interest of maintaining sexual health.


This is especially common in long-term relationships. It can be a hard topic to broach, because one doesn’t want to cause his or her partner to think that he or she is no longer desirable. So understand first off that this is not the case (necessarily, at least). Partners often fall into a sexual routine of foreplay methods and sex positions/rhythms that can simply grow old. Mixing it up is easy - research new positions; change the pace; throw in a toy.

Electronics in the Bedroom

It goes without saying that checking a text or Facebook notification during sex is a flat-out No-No. But even engaging in these activities regularly in the bedroom when not having sex can intrude upon what could otherwise be intimate time between partners. The importance of connecting through other means than sex, such as snuggling and simply paying attention to one’s partner, shouldn’t be underestimated. Leaving the electronics out of the bedroom may help.

Emotional Strain throughout the Day

A strong physical connection is, for many people, founded on a solid emotional connection. If partners are nasty to one another throughout the day, this is likely to take a toll in the bedroom.


If one partner is all-in and the other simply lies there, this can create a serious rift, leaving the enthusiastic partner feeling that his or her desire and effort are unreciprocated. It’s not fair. A lethargic partner might simply need to have the fact pointed out to him or her, and he or she should be willing to get more invested in the other’s pleasure. If not, maybe that partner isn’t the greatest match.

Not Engaging Mentally

Arousal is part physical, part mental. If all the focus is on physical technique, then partners are likely to be left mentally unstimulated. Learn each other’s fantasies. Throwing in some dirty talk or acting out a scenario from a partner’s mental spank bank can make the brain as well as the loins throb, vastly increasing enjoyment.

Poor Body Image

Feeling bad about one’s body makes enjoyment of sex difficult. Partners can promote a healthy body image in themselves and one another by both taking care of themselves and expressing appreciation for one another.

Sex Drive Difference

If one partner wants it all the time and the other isn’t interested too often, this can create a real problem. It’s important for the more interested partner to de-personalize the matter; it’s not him/her, it’s the partner’s sex drive. However, sex is important in a relationship. Don’t minimize the issue, but don’t attack a partner for having a lower or higher drive. Sometimes a great difference in drives is reason enough to break things off; sometimes, a couple can find a balance that works for them.


If one partner is frequently too exhausted for sex, the other can find ways to take some of his or her work on. Making dinner, doing the dishes, putting kids to bed, etc., can all help the tired partner preserve enough energy for lovemaking.

In addition to identifying problems in the bedroom and learning ways to resolve them, men can take an extra step to boost sexual health. Using a penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) on a daily basis can address common penile issues like dry skin, making the manhood more pleasing to the touch. It can also help heighten and preserve sensation in the member, something every man can benefit from. Taking care of oneself is a great way to boost confidence and show oneself love, which can lead to receiving more love in the sack from one’s partner.