While men are familiar with their own sexual fantasies, they may not know much about their female partners’ mental tristes. Some men may assume, consciously or unconsciously, that most women don’t have sexual fantasies, as society pretends that sex is predominantly a male preoccupation. To the contrary, most women experience fantasies, and men would do well to become familiar with their partners’ in the interest of promoting greater sexual health and enjoyment. This will give them the opportunity to incorporate elements of a woman’s sexy thoughts into playtime, and possibly find some overlapping fantasies for both to revel in.

The following information comes from the results of a 2014 survey of over 1,500 women in Quebec. Note: Men should never assume a woman has a fantasy or think that she should have it. Getting to know one’s partner’s unique hot buttons is imperative. The following only offers some idea of what one might be in for.

Different locations

Location turns out to be a crucial aspect in women’s sexual fantasies - at least among those surveyed, with 86.4% reporting that location along with atmosphere are important in their fantasies, and 81.7 said they fantasize about sex in an "unusual" location (such as the office or a bathroom stall). A little over half - 57.3% -- fantasize about sex specifically in a public place, out in the open.

Now, it’s important to be cautious when selecting a location. Due to public indecency laws, consent morality and more practical concerns like losing one’s job, a couple can’t just have sex wherever they may want. Also keep in mind that the presence of a fantasy doesn’t mean a person actually wants to fulfill it. But a couple can find ways to engage these fantasies safely and ethically - for example, they may pretend they are in public and entertain some dirty talk about being watched, or they may find consenting individuals to watch them in the act or view a video of it. They could also engage in sex in a slightly less unusual, but still atypical, location, such as the kitchen instead of the bedroom.

Oral sex

While a man should certainly not assume all or even most women want to spend tons of time fellating men, the survey did show a high level of fantasy around providing oral sex, with 72.1% experiencing such fantasies. More - 78.5% - answered yes to the more broadly-framed "I have fantasized about taking part in fellatio/cunnilingus."

Men should ask women how they feel about providing oral. Some are fine with it, so long as it doesn’t take over sex, and/or it is reciprocated. Some are more enthusiastic about it, and may fantasize about performing it in certain positions, or with added kinky elements, such as having their hair pulled and heads directed if submission is their thing. Women with a dominant streak may prefer having complete control and participating in kinks like orgasm control and denial.


Many survey participants reported fantasizing about being masturbated by a partner (71.4%) and masturbating a partner (68.1%). This suggests that, for many women, manual play, both received and administered, is a desirable aspect of sexual activity.

Fortunately, it’s easy to incorporate! Masturbation, whether one-at-a-time or mutual, is a great way to pleasure one’s partner while learning more about his or her body. It can add a level of intimacy and pleasure to sex that may be lacking without it. So get those hands busy.

Men who are taking steps to improve their sex lives should, of course, not neglect the part of their body most affiliated with the act. Penile upkeep is imperative to keeping the member in peak form both aesthetically and functionally. Along with regular washing, frequent use and wearing protection, men can go the extra mile by incorporating a penis health crème (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) into their care regimens. Keeping the manhood moisturized will protect it against chafing from friction and promote the maintenance of high sensitivity levels in the long run. Better penile health means better sex, and is worth the investment.