A man often looks back on days when his penis would get hard if a light breeze came through the window of his History class. Thankful for the large tome required for the class, he would run out the second the bell rang and find somewhere private to take care of business. Sometimes up to five or six times each day.

But not today. Today this same penis couldn’t be coaxed up by Tony Robbins himself making an inspiring plea. That sucker is desensitized, and it seems like there’s no hope. But...


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